David Choe's bodyguard, personal trainer, publicist, and lover. He is the illegitimate love child of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher; as such he is Immune to the Influence of Third World Sewer Cultures, i.e. [Los Angeles]]. David Choe & Critter met in Colombia in an instance of Cosmic Importance.

A Monstrous Teutonic Mutant with the Golden Hair of a Cherub. Critter is the Author of "83 Ways To Make A A Love Story", available at finer "Bookstores" everywhere. His favorite food-stuff is Brick. Never approach him in the evening, that's when his powers are strongest.

Critter is often the moral compass of Reality, which must be Simply Fucking Terrifying. Fuck It. Critter recently signed a deal with Martha Stewart to make cakes and babies for a TV show, after headbutting and a brutal fight, the 'Mrittera' parted ways.